Enjay08’s Weblog
We often feel alone during times of trouble. God doesn’t want that. He promises to always be with us.Archive for trust
Blessings in Song
Once again – sorry for the long gap in posts.
I recently located a copy of an old Broadman Hymnal, circa 1940. This edition was used in the church I grew up in for years and I know many of the songs. However, not having a photographic memory and not having visited a church in a long time, I can’t remember all the words.
I had looked for a copy online a few years ago with no luck. This time a found one listed by a private seller on Amazon! When it came I joyfully held it, looked through the pages recognizing familiar hymn after hymn. I started at the front and sang the songs, every stanza, for several pages. It became part of my prayer chair time.
Today as I talked to God, lyrics from old hymns would float through my mind, appropriate for what I was praying about. I opened the hymnal, found the hymn and sang every line of each one.
What a wonderful addition to my prayer time. It feels so good to sing praises to God. Another unexpected Blessing from God.
I was reminded of the verse which says: “But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.” (Psalm 22:3)
A Ray of Sunshine
I have MS and Cancer. The MS causes much numbness in my hands and feet, but so does the chemo I take for Cancer. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to tell what is causing what.
Recently I called my Neurologist about the increased numbness. He sent me for two MRIs. See:http://enjay08.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/error-error-reboot/
Finally the results came back and showed no progress in the MS (Praise God for this miracle) but a new problem which can also cause numbness – arthritis of the neck.
Great! another problem! But wait a minute. He went on to say that physical therapy could help.
Who knew! I went to physical therapy and it seems it is a mild case (so far) and improving my posture with stretches and exercises can help.
So how can a new problem be a ray of sunshine? The ray of sunshine was the lack of activity in the MS. There is little to be done about MS, it usually progresses in spite of treatment, but arthritis is somewhat treatable.
So, a little blessing inside a bigger blessing disguised for awhile as a big problem. Sometimes we have to really hunt for the blessings.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comfort delights my soul. Psalm 94:19
Wow! Wow! Holy Mackerel!
Most of the time my doctors are pretty noncommittal, friendly, attentive and professional. I have to work hard to get a smile from them and a laugh is almost impossible.
The last time I saw the three of them, one at a time, they each examined my chest area which has active cancer on it. One said “WOW!” another said “WOW!” and one said “Holy Mackerel!” They were amazed! I was amazed!
It felt good because it meant the cancer is dying. Since part of the cancer is on my chest, it is easy to see the progress. We hope the other spots inside are also dying. The chemo is working and they were all amazed at the rapidity of the effect.
A month or so ago, one of the doctors said that all we could hope for now was to extend my life, that this cancer would get me eventually.
Well! I got online and read some patient reports and found out that cancer-ridden people can live for YEARS on chemo. The message I got was just keep trying other things when what you were doing stopped working. I read accounts of NEDs (No evidence of disease) in patients with cancers like mine, using the same chemo I’m on.
So, maybe this cancer will get me eventually, but who knows how long that will be? And who knows when death will get any of us – we all die eventually.
So, I am encouraged by two Wows and a Holy Mackerel! And by the evidence of other fighting patients.
Recently in the treatment room I noticed a newbie, upset and crying and asking questions of the nurse about procedures. I approached her and asked if it was her first time. Then I encouraged her. I told her she wasn’t alone, that she needed to do what she could, keep fighting and not give up, and not compare herself with others, because each case is different. She and her daughter expressed thanks for my encouragement.
God comforts us … that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble. 2Cor. 1:4
I’ve passed the one-year mark of my cancer fight! I’m still kicking and spitting, even though many days find me resting and not doing much else. I’ve discovered that God can use me even when I feel lousy.
Now when I am old and grayheaded, O God, do not forsake me until I declare your strength to this generation, your power to everyone who is to come. Psalm 71:18
Anxiety, Be Gone
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
My journey to perfect peace has been a long one, one directly led by God. Years ago, I was so axiety ridden that I feared leaving my home, even for short errands. Vacations were a terror – I worried about what might happen on the road – would the car break down, would something happen to our home in our absence. I struggled with these fears before each outing. These fears stole much of the enjoyment of life.
Gradually, over the years, God taught me to Trust Him, and NOT worry. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comfort delights my soul. Psalm 94:19
By giving Him control over what happens to me, I can relax, not because nothing ‘bad’ will happen to me, but because He will be there, working for me and for His purposes. Slowly, I learned to turn to Him with more and more of my concerns, submitting them to His perfect will. He has trained me to rely on Him and His love. He prepared me for Cancer and MS.
God wants us to live in Him every moment of the day. Our minds should be ’stayed’ on Him. He should be a constant presence in our minds, teaching and guiding us. Worrying about the future shows our lack of trust in Him.
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 63:4
God’s presence and care is an enormous blessing, one available to all who are willing to submit to His will.
Shield of Faith
I’m a SciFi fan. Futuristic movies and TV shows often have protective shields available for protecting ships and individuals against the enemy’s weapons. How wonderful! The protected can go about their business in absolute safety. That’s the idea even though the shields are often pierced or disabled in battle.
But here in the real world we all know that there is no absolute protection from physical dangers. No place in the world is safe from hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, floods or fire. Natural disasters happen everywhere. Physical dangers are even more prevalent. Disease, accidents, and crime affect millions everyday.
So what is this scripture talking about? (. . . above all, taking the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. Ephesians 6:16) Faith is a spiritual tool, right up there with truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, salvation, the word of God, prayers, supplication, watchfulness, and perseverance. (also from Ephesians 6.)
And who is this wicked one the scripture speaks of? Satan, who desires to prevent us from knowing God, or if we know Him, to prevent us from growing and witnessing.
So, the shield of faith is a guarantee against spiritual attack on what really matters – our relationship with God. But the believer must put faith into play. How strong is your shield of faith? It is tested everyday, in small or large ways.
We live in a physical world, but we also exist on a spiritual level and that should be the focus of our lives. We need to learn and grow in our spiritual relationship with our Creator, the God of the universe and our Savior, Jesus Christ.
. . .but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance. . . Romans 5:3
Troubles are proof of a spiritual battle. Just as a body temperature can be evidence of an invisible infection. Trials are a blessing once we know what is really going on and fight the spiritual battle with the weapons God provides. Use your shield of faith.
A New World/A New Year
Hello World, Happy Birthday to me!!!
This past year has been extraordinary. A very mixed bag of good and bad. The good far outweighs the bad.
Highlights of the year:
Last year’s birthday present – cancer. (imagine this list sung to the tune of: And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.)
Three Pet/Cts, three MRIs, tons of blood work (ouch), two surgeries, gallons of chemo, three stays in the hospital, weeks of radiation, dozens of visits to the doctors, stacks of paid (thank God) medical bills, Shingles, chemo fatigue, mastectomies, hysterectomy (now I can’t get hysterical anymore-whew!), dozens of trips to the pharmacy, xrays, visiting nurses in my home, a slew of new doctors, undressing and dressing quickly, lots of climbing onto exam tables, more medical jargon than I ever wanted to know, pills and pills, well you get the picture.
Thank God: all local docs – within three miles, great insurance and the money to pay for it – sometimes right from God’s storehouse to my bank account, miraculous intervention on financial and insurance issues, wonderful friends, great medical staff, the technology to fight cancer, God’s many mercies to me and loving care, even for MS which I think masks any pain I might have, opportunities to testify to God’s goodness, being used to touch others’ lives, suffering for Christ’s sake, time to read the Bible and pray, learning to see God’s multitude of blessings everywhere, (later I’ll tell you about the special flowers God planted all over my yard), and on and on!!!!
When I entered CancerLand, I entered a new world. I knew I couldn’t handle cancer by myself, so I handed it over to God and told Him to use this trek and myself for His purposes. I had no idea how He could use me or this experience, but I soon found out.
He has blessed me, this is true, but more than that He has blessed others through me. His love has truly flowed through me. This doesn’t mean I am special or great. . . (heaven forbid) but that I have yielded to God. This is what He wants. He gave us free will but we can’t be truly free until we give it back to Him. His will is better than anything we can come up with on our own.
God is so good, He IS goodness and pure love. I pray that you know Him.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13 (New King James Version)
Wallowing in the Goodness of God
Sorry for the gap in entries. Life has been full of STUFF. As usual, I’m reporting on the wonderful Blessings God mixes in with the stuff.
For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him Matthew 6:8
It’s really true that God knows our needs long before we do, and He doesn’t just sit idly by; He is constantly preparing for our needs.
Very shortly before Cancer struck me, I was introduced over the phone to a niece I didn’t know. We started talking and emailing. God was preparing us both for an opportunity to minister to each other.
When God acts, everything is ready. Recently, in the space of a week, seeming like a bolt of lightning, things fell into place and she came to visit/meet me. The details would fill a book, but suffice it to say that God is using us to benefit each other in wonderful ways. He is in control.
How comforting to know that God, out of His extraordinary love for us, is always thinking and preparing for us, although many times we are totally unaware. Of course the only way to benefit fron His goodness is to submit to His love and His will. Sounds scary and unnatural, but that is what He desires and His will is ALWAYS good.
O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You! Psalm 84:12
Hope your day is blessed.
you can contact me at: nora56 (@) excite.com just write this as an email address without the ( ) and spaces
wal·low (w
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No Bother – Really
Without God I could not face even one new day. I am constantly running to Him in prayer, asking for strength, courage, and mercy. Suprisingly He always gives me more than I ask for – indescribable joy, peace, friends and humor.
I remember a time when I tried to pray at least once a day, usually before closing my eyes in sleep. That seemed like a good idea. Sometimes I was so tired that I just went to sleep. Or too preoccupied with a problem that I couldn’t turn off my thoughts. Or I just forgot.
I always felt guilty about that, but really, what did I have to say worth bothering God?
For believers, the scriptures telling us to take all our problems to God are abundant.
“Casting all your care on Him; for He careth for you.” 1Peter 5:7
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Phillipians 4:6
Yet we strive to solve the problems ourselves, not wanting to be dependent on God. Being dependent is bad, right? Humans are supposed to be independent, making decisions, solving problems on our own. That’s what the concept of free will means, isn’t it?
God sees it from a different point of view. He created us for communion with Him. He desires our love, our obedience and yes, our dependence. His plan is always better than ours. His solutions are brilliant. His desires are good. When we do run to Him and give Him the troubles in our life, He is free to work His beautiful will.
Learning to depend on God is part of learning to love and trust Him. Accepting that He desires a close, constant relationship with each person. Knowing that He is always ready to listen to us and to work His will in our lives, if we are willing. We aren’t bothering Him when we bring our concerns to Him and submit them to His will. That is what He wants.
When we start communicating with God and submitting to His will, He releases unlimited Joy to our heart
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:3
How often to you talk to God? As often as you talk to your friends?
email: nora56 (at) excite.com (replace (at) with @
…Keeps Going and Going and Going
People ask me: ‘What next?’ It does appear that troubles keep hitting me one after the other. Sometimes two at a time. It would be so easy to give up, to throw up my hands in despair and stop trying.
But whenever I feel like that, and I do sometimes, the Holy Spirit whispers: Trust God. I’ve learned to obey that whisper. I pray and give my troubles and fears to God asking Him to work His will.
It is easy to say, ‘don’t be afraid’. And it is important to learn that we don’t have to live in fear. But, for my part it takes some hard work, and it needs to be done over and over.
So when trouble keeps going and going, I remind myself that with God’s help and mercy, I can keep going and going.
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Sounds like going and going and going!!!
God Bless
Oh, if you would like to write to me, you can reach me at nora56 (at) excite.com Replace (at) with @
Bumps in the Road
NOW:
Radiation was rolling along just fine. Then I saw my breast surgeon for a checkup and he sent me for an ultrasound of my leg. He thought it was larger than the other leg. Then he sent me to the hospital (blood clot). I’d been this route before and knew it could mean a week in the hospital waiting for my blood to thin. That meant missing 5 – 7 treatments.
The radiation doctor assured me that a break in treatment could be a good thing for my skin. (It had suddenly turned bright red the day I entered the hospital.) By then I had talked to God and given Him my fears and frustrations and asked Him to use me if He could. He did!
God never wastes a thing, even a stay in the hospital. He rolled at least three things together and accomplished them in that week. He turned that week into an incredible experience, and not just for me.
Bumps in the road can be bad. They can cause damage to you and your car, or they can slow you down a little and reassure you that you have good shocks.
“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1Peter 4:5
THEN:
DejaVu, sort of. When I was being diagnosed with MS in 2002, I had three hospitalizations. The last was for a leg blood clot. I was staying in Georgia with family at the time and the third time in the hospital seemed like one more in an unending series of bad things.
But by then I had learned to trust God with this stuff, and soon after I left the hospital I was ready to go home, to Florida. I was supposed to reclaim my job after using my Family Medical Leave on May 5th, and my family dropped me off the weekend before. I made it back to work, barely able to get through the four hour days at first. But, I got stronger and eventually took a full time job at the same program.
Letting God be in control doesn’t mean a smooth ride, but it does mean that God knows about the bumps before you do and will prepare you and be with you.
God Bless
