Enjay08’s Weblog
We often feel alone during times of trouble. God doesn’t want that. He promises to always be with us.Archive for hope
Blessings in Song
Once again – sorry for the long gap in posts.
I recently located a copy of an old Broadman Hymnal, circa 1940. This edition was used in the church I grew up in for years and I know many of the songs. However, not having a photographic memory and not having visited a church in a long time, I can’t remember all the words.
I had looked for a copy online a few years ago with no luck. This time a found one listed by a private seller on Amazon! When it came I joyfully held it, looked through the pages recognizing familiar hymn after hymn. I started at the front and sang the songs, every stanza, for several pages. It became part of my prayer chair time.
Today as I talked to God, lyrics from old hymns would float through my mind, appropriate for what I was praying about. I opened the hymnal, found the hymn and sang every line of each one.
What a wonderful addition to my prayer time. It feels so good to sing praises to God. Another unexpected Blessing from God.
I was reminded of the verse which says: “But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.” (Psalm 22:3)
Where There’s a Will
God instilled perseverance in just about everything He created. I can often see examples of this around me.
On my back patio, (a tiny cement slab with a row of patio squares around it) I spotted a two foot high plant proudly showing dark pink blooms. It had squeezed its way through a very small crack. I had watched it grow, thinking, when it was small, that I should pull it up. But I never did. Now I enjoy the happy little blooms and wonder at the tenacity of the plant.
It’s just doing what God intended: grow, bloom, spread/multiply. I am surrounded by many plants and trees doing the same things. My yard seems to be very fertile and welcomes plants and trees of all kinds. I have a five foot oak sapling growing in front of my kitchen window – that I will cut down. It’s just in the wrong place. Usually I try to nurture these unexpected gifts, trimming the little trees, moving other volunteer plants to a safer spot. (Where I can enjoy them.)
I consider them all as personal Blessings from God.
And there is a lesson to be learned, too.
Perseverance.
This is especially meaningful to me in my Cancer Fight. It’s as though God is telling me: ‘Don’t give up. Keep fighting, keep trying to find a way to go on. Push your way through the frustration, the waiting, everything that goes with fighting Cancer. And I AM with you.”
Thank you Father. You always know when I need encouragement!
Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful. James 5:11
Walking Through Walls
No, I didn’t have an accident with a wall. I’m talking about the walls of difficulty and resistance we all face everyday, of many different kinds.
One I’m dealing with now is Physical Therapy. When my body screams at me – JUST GET IN BED AND STAY THERE! – I have to make a choice, stay in bed and get worse, or get up and slowly get better.
Fortunately God pushes me a little; my dog needs to go out, I need to go to the bathroom, I need water, etc. By the time I do some of the necessary chores, I’m onto the next bit – taking meds, eating, getting dressed, etc.
At the start of the day, I pray for strength and energy to do what I need to do, and Jesus always supplies it.
The second time my Physical Therapy guy came he had me get down on the floor (he’d done it the first time, too, and I was totally unable to get up.) The second time - I did it. He said that was great progress for one week and noticed that I was walking better.
(I’ve had some setbacks since starting this on the 3rd, but the lesson is still there – I have to push through the wall. Pushing through is much harder, but but far more worthwhile. )
Something I have learned about PT – just do a little every now and then throughout the day. I can do more withn less fatigue and effort and still make progress.
You can’t see the results of PT immediately – you have to believe that it will be beneficial.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18 New International Version
Now I’m also tackling the wall of fatigue since starting a new chemo drug last week.
How God used a safety pin and two hangers to save my life.
There’s a long story behind this, which I won’t bore you with right now, but this is the setting: I’m on the floor in my bedroom and can’t get up.
I’m in a very weakened condition suffering from a severe case of chemo-related diarrhea. My legs just won’t work so I’m stuck there. I can’t crawl, but can use my arms. I know I need something to drink as I am very dehydrated. I needed to get to the phone, but first I knew I desperately needed something to drink.
Then I spotted an unopened bottle of Gatorade, just what I needed, but it was on the other side of the room, at least 3 miles away. I prayed. The suggestion came to me to use two hangers as a type of lasso to reach across the underside of the bed and pull the bottle to me. After much work, I got the bottle, but could not open it. I was very weak and could not open the tight lid.
Then I spotted a safety pin – a large one. I used it to punch a hole in the side of the bottle and was able to empty the bottle ito a drinking mug. I drank and drank. I was in such a weakened state that I believe I could not have survived to get to the phone without the liquid.
Eventually I made it to the phone. I spent 18 hours on the floor working and resting, trying to get up, then just trying to get to the phone.
Help came – I was rescued – and spent two weeks in the hospital getting my poor system back to ‘normal’.
God was with me through every moment of the 18 hours and gave me solutions to the problems I ran into.
13 Those who are planted in the house of the LORD
Shall flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing,
15 To declare that the LORD is upright;
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.
Praise Him
A Ray of Sunshine
I have MS and Cancer. The MS causes much numbness in my hands and feet, but so does the chemo I take for Cancer. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to tell what is causing what.
Recently I called my Neurologist about the increased numbness. He sent me for two MRIs. See:http://enjay08.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/error-error-reboot/
Finally the results came back and showed no progress in the MS (Praise God for this miracle) but a new problem which can also cause numbness – arthritis of the neck.
Great! another problem! But wait a minute. He went on to say that physical therapy could help.
Who knew! I went to physical therapy and it seems it is a mild case (so far) and improving my posture with stretches and exercises can help.
So how can a new problem be a ray of sunshine? The ray of sunshine was the lack of activity in the MS. There is little to be done about MS, it usually progresses in spite of treatment, but arthritis is somewhat treatable.
So, a little blessing inside a bigger blessing disguised for awhile as a big problem. Sometimes we have to really hunt for the blessings.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comfort delights my soul. Psalm 94:19
Wow! Wow! Holy Mackerel!
Most of the time my doctors are pretty noncommittal, friendly, attentive and professional. I have to work hard to get a smile from them and a laugh is almost impossible.
The last time I saw the three of them, one at a time, they each examined my chest area which has active cancer on it. One said “WOW!” another said “WOW!” and one said “Holy Mackerel!” They were amazed! I was amazed!
It felt good because it meant the cancer is dying. Since part of the cancer is on my chest, it is easy to see the progress. We hope the other spots inside are also dying. The chemo is working and they were all amazed at the rapidity of the effect.
A month or so ago, one of the doctors said that all we could hope for now was to extend my life, that this cancer would get me eventually.
Well! I got online and read some patient reports and found out that cancer-ridden people can live for YEARS on chemo. The message I got was just keep trying other things when what you were doing stopped working. I read accounts of NEDs (No evidence of disease) in patients with cancers like mine, using the same chemo I’m on.
So, maybe this cancer will get me eventually, but who knows how long that will be? And who knows when death will get any of us – we all die eventually.
So, I am encouraged by two Wows and a Holy Mackerel! And by the evidence of other fighting patients.
Recently in the treatment room I noticed a newbie, upset and crying and asking questions of the nurse about procedures. I approached her and asked if it was her first time. Then I encouraged her. I told her she wasn’t alone, that she needed to do what she could, keep fighting and not give up, and not compare herself with others, because each case is different. She and her daughter expressed thanks for my encouragement.
God comforts us … that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble. 2Cor. 1:4
I’ve passed the one-year mark of my cancer fight! I’m still kicking and spitting, even though many days find me resting and not doing much else. I’ve discovered that God can use me even when I feel lousy.
Now when I am old and grayheaded, O God, do not forsake me until I declare your strength to this generation, your power to everyone who is to come. Psalm 71:18
Error! Error! Reboot!
Computer problems can now plague us wherever we go. Everything is computerized. Phones, cars, faxes, doctor’s offices. . .
Yesterday I reported to a diagnostic center for two MRIs. The first error was the missing order from my doctor. The second - missing lab work results. A few phone calls and faxes cleared those up, but now I was late for my slot – causing havoc for their computerized scheduling. They said they would work me in.
Much later, I was ushered to the machine, reclined on its shelf of a bed, and waited for the clanging to begin. I waited. Having been through this process many times before, I didn’t have to deal with the fears first timers face.
The techs came in, one at a time and pushed buttons, looked intently at the screen, jiggled the shelf I was on, left the room and came back to repeat the process. This did not look good. I think a first timer would have bolted from the room after the first couple attempts at restarting the machine. Error!
After about 30 minutes, they decided to reschedule me, since they had to call a repairman.
So, an afternoon wasted and we will begin again on Weds. hopefully with better results.
Rebooting is wonderful – just erase all the mistakes, reset everything and start over.
Hmmm. Sort of what happens when we turn to God and ask forgiveness.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
Of course rebooting doesn’t always fix the problem with computers. But receiving God’s forgiveness does give us a clean slate with God and we can try again to get it right.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Shield of Faith
I’m a SciFi fan. Futuristic movies and TV shows often have protective shields available for protecting ships and individuals against the enemy’s weapons. How wonderful! The protected can go about their business in absolute safety. That’s the idea even though the shields are often pierced or disabled in battle.
But here in the real world we all know that there is no absolute protection from physical dangers. No place in the world is safe from hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, floods or fire. Natural disasters happen everywhere. Physical dangers are even more prevalent. Disease, accidents, and crime affect millions everyday.
So what is this scripture talking about? (. . . above all, taking the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. Ephesians 6:16) Faith is a spiritual tool, right up there with truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, salvation, the word of God, prayers, supplication, watchfulness, and perseverance. (also from Ephesians 6.)
And who is this wicked one the scripture speaks of? Satan, who desires to prevent us from knowing God, or if we know Him, to prevent us from growing and witnessing.
So, the shield of faith is a guarantee against spiritual attack on what really matters – our relationship with God. But the believer must put faith into play. How strong is your shield of faith? It is tested everyday, in small or large ways.
We live in a physical world, but we also exist on a spiritual level and that should be the focus of our lives. We need to learn and grow in our spiritual relationship with our Creator, the God of the universe and our Savior, Jesus Christ.
. . .but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance. . . Romans 5:3
Troubles are proof of a spiritual battle. Just as a body temperature can be evidence of an invisible infection. Trials are a blessing once we know what is really going on and fight the spiritual battle with the weapons God provides. Use your shield of faith.
A New World/A New Year
Hello World, Happy Birthday to me!!!
This past year has been extraordinary. A very mixed bag of good and bad. The good far outweighs the bad.
Highlights of the year:
Last year’s birthday present – cancer. (imagine this list sung to the tune of: And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.)
Three Pet/Cts, three MRIs, tons of blood work (ouch), two surgeries, gallons of chemo, three stays in the hospital, weeks of radiation, dozens of visits to the doctors, stacks of paid (thank God) medical bills, Shingles, chemo fatigue, mastectomies, hysterectomy (now I can’t get hysterical anymore-whew!), dozens of trips to the pharmacy, xrays, visiting nurses in my home, a slew of new doctors, undressing and dressing quickly, lots of climbing onto exam tables, more medical jargon than I ever wanted to know, pills and pills, well you get the picture.
Thank God: all local docs – within three miles, great insurance and the money to pay for it – sometimes right from God’s storehouse to my bank account, miraculous intervention on financial and insurance issues, wonderful friends, great medical staff, the technology to fight cancer, God’s many mercies to me and loving care, even for MS which I think masks any pain I might have, opportunities to testify to God’s goodness, being used to touch others’ lives, suffering for Christ’s sake, time to read the Bible and pray, learning to see God’s multitude of blessings everywhere, (later I’ll tell you about the special flowers God planted all over my yard), and on and on!!!!
When I entered CancerLand, I entered a new world. I knew I couldn’t handle cancer by myself, so I handed it over to God and told Him to use this trek and myself for His purposes. I had no idea how He could use me or this experience, but I soon found out.
He has blessed me, this is true, but more than that He has blessed others through me. His love has truly flowed through me. This doesn’t mean I am special or great. . . (heaven forbid) but that I have yielded to God. This is what He wants. He gave us free will but we can’t be truly free until we give it back to Him. His will is better than anything we can come up with on our own.
God is so good, He IS goodness and pure love. I pray that you know Him.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13 (New King James Version)
…Keeps Going and Going and Going
People ask me: ‘What next?’ It does appear that troubles keep hitting me one after the other. Sometimes two at a time. It would be so easy to give up, to throw up my hands in despair and stop trying.
But whenever I feel like that, and I do sometimes, the Holy Spirit whispers: Trust God. I’ve learned to obey that whisper. I pray and give my troubles and fears to God asking Him to work His will.
It is easy to say, ‘don’t be afraid’. And it is important to learn that we don’t have to live in fear. But, for my part it takes some hard work, and it needs to be done over and over.
So when trouble keeps going and going, I remind myself that with God’s help and mercy, I can keep going and going.
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Sounds like going and going and going!!!
God Bless
Oh, if you would like to write to me, you can reach me at nora56 (at) excite.com Replace (at) with @
