Enjay08’s Weblog
We often feel alone during times of trouble. God doesn’t want that. He promises to always be with us.Archive for July, 2008
Another Hidden Blessing
The more I depend on God for help, the more I realize how much He Helps! I call them blessings.
The other morning as I lay in bed waiting for the Spirit to move me, I was thinking about how several conditions I have cause numbness in my body and what a nuisance it was. Then, the Spirit (God’s Holy Spirit) whispered in my mind, “Maybe the MS numbness was a good thing. So, when these other things came along (chemo and arthritis) the numbness would be familiar and not so scary.)
It made so much sense. God knows what we face every day and if we seek His will, he will ’cause everything to work together for the good of those who love God,” Romans 8:28.
He prepared me and I am so glad He did. I think if I had been hit with numbness from chemo without having experience with numbness, it would have caused much additional distress. As it is, although I hate it and it is inconvenient and sometimes painful, with God’s help I can handle it and continue to face the day.
So, sometimes God works to prepare us for trials and tests, long before they come. Praise God!
For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him Matthew 6:8
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A Ray of Sunshine
I have MS and Cancer. The MS causes much numbness in my hands and feet, but so does the chemo I take for Cancer. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to tell what is causing what.
Recently I called my Neurologist about the increased numbness. He sent me for two MRIs. See:http://enjay08.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/error-error-reboot/
Finally the results came back and showed no progress in the MS (Praise God for this miracle) but a new problem which can also cause numbness – arthritis of the neck.
Great! another problem! But wait a minute. He went on to say that physical therapy could help.
Who knew! I went to physical therapy and it seems it is a mild case (so far) and improving my posture with stretches and exercises can help.
So how can a new problem be a ray of sunshine? The ray of sunshine was the lack of activity in the MS. There is little to be done about MS, it usually progresses in spite of treatment, but arthritis is somewhat treatable.
So, a little blessing inside a bigger blessing disguised for awhile as a big problem. Sometimes we have to really hunt for the blessings.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comfort delights my soul. Psalm 94:19
Wow! Wow! Holy Mackerel!
Most of the time my doctors are pretty noncommittal, friendly, attentive and professional. I have to work hard to get a smile from them and a laugh is almost impossible.
The last time I saw the three of them, one at a time, they each examined my chest area which has active cancer on it. One said “WOW!” another said “WOW!” and one said “Holy Mackerel!” They were amazed! I was amazed!
It felt good because it meant the cancer is dying. Since part of the cancer is on my chest, it is easy to see the progress. We hope the other spots inside are also dying. The chemo is working and they were all amazed at the rapidity of the effect.
A month or so ago, one of the doctors said that all we could hope for now was to extend my life, that this cancer would get me eventually.
Well! I got online and read some patient reports and found out that cancer-ridden people can live for YEARS on chemo. The message I got was just keep trying other things when what you were doing stopped working. I read accounts of NEDs (No evidence of disease) in patients with cancers like mine, using the same chemo I’m on.
So, maybe this cancer will get me eventually, but who knows how long that will be? And who knows when death will get any of us – we all die eventually.
So, I am encouraged by two Wows and a Holy Mackerel! And by the evidence of other fighting patients.
Recently in the treatment room I noticed a newbie, upset and crying and asking questions of the nurse about procedures. I approached her and asked if it was her first time. Then I encouraged her. I told her she wasn’t alone, that she needed to do what she could, keep fighting and not give up, and not compare herself with others, because each case is different. She and her daughter expressed thanks for my encouragement.
God comforts us … that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble. 2Cor. 1:4
I’ve passed the one-year mark of my cancer fight! I’m still kicking and spitting, even though many days find me resting and not doing much else. I’ve discovered that God can use me even when I feel lousy.
Now when I am old and grayheaded, O God, do not forsake me until I declare your strength to this generation, your power to everyone who is to come. Psalm 71:18
Error! Error! Reboot!
Computer problems can now plague us wherever we go. Everything is computerized. Phones, cars, faxes, doctor’s offices. . .
Yesterday I reported to a diagnostic center for two MRIs. The first error was the missing order from my doctor. The second - missing lab work results. A few phone calls and faxes cleared those up, but now I was late for my slot – causing havoc for their computerized scheduling. They said they would work me in.
Much later, I was ushered to the machine, reclined on its shelf of a bed, and waited for the clanging to begin. I waited. Having been through this process many times before, I didn’t have to deal with the fears first timers face.
The techs came in, one at a time and pushed buttons, looked intently at the screen, jiggled the shelf I was on, left the room and came back to repeat the process. This did not look good. I think a first timer would have bolted from the room after the first couple attempts at restarting the machine. Error!
After about 30 minutes, they decided to reschedule me, since they had to call a repairman.
So, an afternoon wasted and we will begin again on Weds. hopefully with better results.
Rebooting is wonderful – just erase all the mistakes, reset everything and start over.
Hmmm. Sort of what happens when we turn to God and ask forgiveness.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
Of course rebooting doesn’t always fix the problem with computers. But receiving God’s forgiveness does give us a clean slate with God and we can try again to get it right.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
